The Wilcox Rules of Festive Holiday Displays - 2014 Edition

It's that time again.  Christmas is almost here... and it's only October.  The first Christmas commercials have already aired (Did you think I wouldn’t notice, K-Mart Layaway?), and the first leaves have barely hit the ground.  So, it's best I trot out the rules.

2014 marks the 7th year of these rules – which is the gift of wool, in case you’re out shopping for me.  Get me a nice sweater with a turkey on it. Every year I post these rules - usually around October - in order to spell out when and where you can and can't decorate for the upcoming Holiday season. (No, not Halloween. Or Thanksgiving. See, this is why we have these rules! I'm talking Christmas decorations, people!)

People accuse me of being a Grinch, or just hating on Christmas in general.  Not the case – I adore Christmas!  It's truly one of my favorite times of the year.  The decorations, the music, the get-togethers... it’s a magical time to spend with friends and family.  The point of these rules is to protect the brand of Christmas from dilution.  Listen to Santa himself, from the Sesame Street special “Elmo Saves Christmas.”

 

Once again, Nordstrom’s leads the way in following the rules.  Soon you’ll be seeing signs out front of the store stating:

Well said. I cried when I saw that the first time... and every time after that.  I also love how the same photo of the sign gets posted to my Facebook every year – that guy’s silhouette never changes!

Please note the schedule for Christmas/Holiday decorations according to the Wilcox Rules of Festive Holiday Displays for 2014 - which follows:

Assembly of large Christmas displays may begin November 1, however the lights may not be activated between the hours of 5 AM and 1 AM under ANY circumstances. Mind bendingly large installations like the Osbourne Spectacle of Lights or the decoration of Cinderella's Castle may begin in September - but should be invisible to the naked eye, and must follow the time restrictions. The only exception to the time restriction would be if the lights are not visible from public grounds, and the area is clear of the public.

On November 24, outdoor commercial festive displays may be activated and illuminated for viewing, however it is not recommended. During this same time period, (the week of Thanksgiving) commercial indoor festive displays may be installed. Outdoor residential festive lighting and displays may begin installation, but may not be activated or illuminated. Protective barriers to shield the public from your displays are recommended. Festive music may begin to play on the radio, but not on PA systems in public places (festive music in private places is unregulated. What you do in your own house is your business, however we in no way recommend or condone of such activity.).

The day after Thanksgiving any and all festive displays may be illuminated and activated, residential or commercial. Festive music is also allowed to be played in public places. Game on, it's Christmas!  Note that this says the day after Thanksgiving, not the evening of Thanksgiving.  The trend of stores opening earlier and earlier on Thanksgiving night worries us greatly.

 At the end of the season all music, displays, and any other festive season paraphernalia is to be deactivated or powered down no later than January 6^th (Three Kings Day). The displays should be dismantled in a timely manner, no later than January 15 for residential and small displays, January 31 for major commercial displays.

Special Articles/Addendums:

Indoors at Private Residences - We realize that not everyone can hold back on their holiday cheer. If a private citizen wants to decorate the interior of their house, they are free to do so at any time. This is a free country after all (it is still a free country, right?) Similar to the festive music in private places (Santa) Clause, these must be invisible to those outside your home.

Hanukah (Chanukah) decorations are unregulated at this point. Not to be holiday-ist, or an Anti-Semite - quite the contrary. Due to the moving target that is the Festival of Lights, it is difficult to set a finite set of dates - one year it would be too early, the next not early enough.  For the festival of lights, you just don’t seem to see a lot of displays.  We celebrate all Holidays with the Wilcox rules of Festive Holiday Displays – just at the proper time.  We may be hiring an intern to focus on Jewish displays for 2015, keep an eye on our twitter account!

Manufacturing Plants/Design areas - We recognize that to make the season bright, we need people to help make the stuff that makes the season bright (And I'm not talking about Family, or children. I'm talking tangibles.) Should you work in a factory that makes Christmas displays, or in an area that prepares holiday decorations (WDW Holiday Services - a 365 day operation), you may display Holiday decorates for Test and Adjust purposes only. However, you should make every attempt to test A) Indoors or B) On a building, in a field, far away from civilization so that nobody has to see your Holiday products in April when you make them. If you require special permits, contact the department of Festive Holiday Display office. Be warned that the office has a heavy bias on denying your request.

Christmas in July - No.  Just... no.  For god’s sake, no.

See, isn't that better? I think we can all survive and thrive with this set of rules.
 
To keep up with the latest developments, as well as check out the naughty list... follow me on Twitter at @JWWholidayrules or wilcoxholidayrules.blogspot.com.

Happy Holidays! (One at a time, please.)